Killer Rabbit & Sunny Fox
by MonkeyMoa
Summary: This is the story of two adorable little girls, bestest of friends and then some more, who did adorable little girls' stuff like playing Mommy, cooking, tea parties, sewing small animal plushies and killing people. Well, that's what adorable little girls who happen to be ruthless assassins did, at least.


**Killer Rabbit & Sunny Fox**

 **Author's Foreword:**

Okay, so I'm not abandoning my other two stories on this site, I'm just thinking how to properly proceed with them. However, I do have some other ideas to work on and this is one of them. The idea is to take EDelta88's "Most Adorable Fem!Naruto Possible To Make" idea/oneshot/challenge while also using an idea I had before about doing an Accidentally Yandere!Hinata. The old idea would be named "Killer Rabbit" because I dunno, I just associate Hinata with rabbits by now. However, as I decided to mix this with something else, I decided to change the title to be more fitting of what I want to do with this.

It's also a bit of training for myself. I'm not used to write Yanderes or Absurdly Cute Characters, and well, I can't have that now, can I?

As with the other two fanfics I have here, I don't have an actual plan, I just plan each chapter before publishing them and then think about the next one. No overarching storyline or anything. Well, maybe on the future, I dunno.

I guess this will eventually evolve into a "Lovely Angels" scenario.

Maybe.

BY THE WAY, can someone help me find a good Beta? I'm not very good at judging this kind of stuff because I only know enough english to make myself understood, and even then I sometimes mess up my wording.

Anyway, I hope that we can make this work and that you'll like it.

xxx

* * *

 **Chapter 1 – Some Introductions and a Meeting**

This is the story of two adorable little girls, bestest of friends and then some more, who did adorable little girls' stuff like playing Mommy, cooking, tea parties, sewing small animal plushies and killing people.

Well, that's what adorable little girls who happen to be ruthless assassins did, at least.

However, we're getting ahead of ourselves. First things first, let's meet our most important characters and see how they met.

* * *

 **Introduction A – Rabbits are Adorable.**

She didn't notice anything wrong until she felt a hand over her mouth.

When she opened her eyes, a foreign ninja covered head to toe with black cloak looked back at her. The half-second that that moment took place was all it took for her to make a decision.

Using rapid movements, she disabled his hand through his tenketsu points. Painfully surprised by this, the would-be kidnapper clearly felt like a stupid moron for not tying up the hands of the Hyuuga Heiress. That moment of self-deprecation was utterly abused by the little girl, who kicked him in the stomach, making him step back and give enough space for her to get up and get personal.

She immediately made a direct line to the enemy and pushed some of the tenketsu points on his chest.

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then he started to scream until he couldn't do it anymore. The ninja barely registered that among the blood that he was coughing now, there were pieces of his own heart.

Hiashi Hyuuga then suddenly opened the door in worry, only to find a scene eerily familiar to one from his own youth.

A little girl, panting in exhaustion, looking over a dead man drowning in his own blood, his eyes reflecting the last emotions he felt: Fear, Surprise and 'Oh, God, please, never let my friends find out how exactly I died'.

' _Well, shit. Fucking genetics, they always ruin someone's life._ ' He thought. With a worried, but somewhat wistful smile, he mentally added, ' _Like Mother, like Daughter, indeed._ '

Hinata Hyuuga then noticed her Father and started to get heavily embarrassed, apologizing like what she did was the equivalent of dirtying the carpet with a very-hard-to-get-rid-of coffee stain instead of the cold blooded murder it was.

It was kind of adorable, really.

* * *

 **Introduction B – The Ultimate Horror**

Kurama was bored.

It has been like that for the last century or so since the first time he was sealed in an Uzumaki. He had a bit of a relief a couple years ago, but that was short lived and generally unpleasant. He doesn't like to think about it too much, but he would like to say "Mind Control is such bullshit" to resume how he feels about the event.

However, today was a bit interesting.

Somehow, his 3-year old host managed to get herself inside his 'living quarters' on their shared apartment that was called Naruko Uzumaki. The little monkey was amusing, if a bit irritating.

At first, the little pink menace thought he was a rabbit. _A fucking rabbit!_

Sure, rabbits tasted great, but he was their hunter, not one of his fucking preys!

It seems that she actually understood that he is actually a far more majestic creature of superior existence when she approached and noticed his long beautiful nine-tails. That was what the Kyuubi actually hoped that sparkle on the little furless monkey meant.

Wait, was she fucking hugging their tails?

*Snore*

 _Was she fucking napping on his tails!?_

That's it, out! No freaking hairless ape is going to sleep on his majestic fur!

In five minutes or so she is going to get what she deserves!

…maybe ten minutes, young hosts needed to grow up healthy after all! The Great and Powerful Kyuubi would never actually let his host leave itself an easy target that could risk the Fox's life!

And that snot bubble was actually kind of amusingly cute.

"Oh, dammit." Growled the demon, realizing just how much screwed he actually is because of this little horror.

* * *

 **Introduction C – The Little Sunny Fox Who Naps A Lot**

If someone asked how to resume Naruko Uzumaki in a word, it would be a very flat "What."

Sometimes that would be the shorthand form of "What did she do this time?", but most commonly it was "What the fuck just happened?" usually after she pulled off something that no 3-year old should accomplish, like, for example, somehow painting the entire orphanage orange. Including the furniture, kitchen utensils, food and the _freaking orphans._

Today, though, the question was "How the fuck this happened?" as two ANBU gathered around a 3 year old that seemingly had just fallen from the roof of the orphanage and split open her blond head, making a very ugly pool of blood in front of it and leaving a bunch of kids traumatized for life.

"Urgh, the Hokage is gonna flat down this orphanage with Enma-sama and three kilos of exploding tags…" sighed one of the masked ninjas. "Dammit, we're fucking dead when he discovers that we let this shit happen just because you fuckin' wanted some takoyaki!"

"Hey, it was pretty good takoyaki!" said the other masked ninja, while holding one of the caretakers in a pretty tight hold around the neck. "Besides, I bet that if we take in this guy who we found happily whistling in the roof while watching the clouds like there's totally not a dead kid just bellow him, we can keep our heads over our shoulders."

"Yeah, that could work… we just need a Yamanaka or Ibiki to get out what he did and then bingo!" he said happily pumping his fist in the air.

Said prisoner started to cry about the prospect of visiting the T&I Headquarters. "See? This guy's thinks my idea is good too!" said the ANBU holding him.

"Y'awwwwww…!" suddenly said the _dead_ little blond girl while sitting and rubbing her eyes, which startled both ninja and their prisoner (who screamed something about demonically powered zombies coming for vengeance). She looked at the two masked ninjas holding one of her caretakers in a very uncomfortable looking… hmmm, what was the word? A neck hug? Maybe she should ask them, but first, practice the manners her Gramps taught her. "Good morning~!" she said with a half-sleepy half-cheerful small voice.

...silently, the two ANBU thanked whatever God decided to save their hides and the Fourth Hokage for protecting them even from beyond his grave with his sealing skills.

"So…" said the caretaker, who calmed down and seemed to not be smart enough to keep his mouth shut. "Does this means that I won't be interrogated anymore or…?"

The ANBU looked at their prisoner, then at each other, then to the sleepy little girl yawning again, and then at each other again.

Little Naruko discovered about the value of slapstick comedy that day when the two ANBU produced an oversized wooden mallet out of nowhere to make bonking sounds with her caretaker's head.

* * *

 **A Meeting – Pillows and Punches.**

For some reason, some older kids from the Academy decided to bother her about her eyes.

She tried to get away from them, extremely self-conscious of how creepy people thought the Hyuuga eyes are. They either thought that the almost completely white eye-balls were very creepy or thought that they spied on other people taking their baths thanks to their Byakugan.

She couldn't speak for other people on her clan, but she didn't really like being considered a perverted freak nor she enjoyed when people teased her because of this supposed truth. She felt embarrassed about it.

"Hey, white-eyes! I bet you ogle all the boys with those fancy eyes of yours, care to share your opinion on who is the biggest and manliest guy at the academy? Don't lie, I know it's me!"

That again.

Why almost all boys she knew did some kind of male-parts measuring contest? Gosh, she fainted at just of the thought of looking at someone naked with her eyes, regardless of biological gender! She couldn't tell even if she knew!

The boy got impatient and slammed his palm on the wall, right next to her head.

"White-eyes, you better tell my two friends here who is the boss king of boys at the academy and if _it's not me_ , I'll be _incredibly_ disappointed. Capisce?"

She was growing incredibly worried. While she could totally clean the floor with them (and make they use their tongues for that), she didn't really want to announce to everybody that she could actually kick the ever living shit out of them. That would ruin her sister's life.

Like her cousin Neji.

She mentally prepared herself to take a beating again today, but at least it wouldn't be so bad, those chumps can't even close tenketsu and attack her internal organs with chackra after all.

"Huh, not gonna say anything, white-eyes!? Then let me tell you how much I appreciate your silence!" she closed her eyes and waited for it.

Except that the punch never came.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

A white, orange and blond blur landed squarely on the left of the head of the boy who was over Hinata. They both fell on the street and the newcomer rolled around a bit and finally stopped over her stomach. Getting up to a crouching position, face and oversized sweater all dirty, she looked surprised with the effectiveness of her attack on the boy who was now groaning face first on the floor. She splattered an incredibly big smile on her face.

"Haha! I can't believe it worked! I've only seen that weird green guy do it once!" Then she cleared her throat, assuming what she probably thought was a very heroic pose instead of the poor imitation of a Kamen Rider that it actually was, which was made extra cute with her holding an oversized pillow. Screaming in a rather adorable voice, she said: "Leave her alone, you bastards! Can't you see she doesn't like you-ttebayo!?"

Spitting the dirty out of his mouth, the boy who got kicked on the face looked angrily at his attacker. He then looked at his stupid lackeys who were honestly paralyzed with confusion about what just happened, "What are your morons waiting for!? Kick her face!"

"Dude, a fucking little girl armed with a pillow just _drop kicked_ you _._ " Snorted one of his lackeys. "That was fucking precious!" and they both started laughing at the misfortune of their leader.

"W-Whatever! That was a luck shot, just punch her!" said the now red-faced leader.

"Sure, dude, anything to avenge your murdered pride, amirite?" snorted his other lackey. He approached the blondie and tried to go for an intimidating towering position over her. "Okay, short stuff, Imma gonna kick your adorable little butt, I need to save whatever is left of my friend's honor as a man, after all!" he snickered.

The little girl puffed her adorable whisker-marked cheeks in annoyance. "I'm not short!" and then hit the guy with her pillow on his head, which made an unusual BONK sound and made the guy see stars. "Kura-chan said he doesn't like hairless monkey-pig crossbred meanies who call me short!"

"You little piece of…!" the bonk'ed guy tried to punch the little blond menace, oh, he sure tried, however, their former target decided to intervene by paralyzing his arm. "W-wait, what the…!? Why you're-", He couldn't get his question out when he was washed over by a waterfall of a feeling of dread that was emanating from the dark-haired little princess.

"You see, I d-don't care when people p-p-punch me or k-kick me, I get that a lot while t-training with my Father…" she said, her bangs hiding her eyes. "I'm n-not really a fan of vi-violence, I prefer to keep to myself t-to not t-t-trouble others…"

The boy pissed his pants when the white-eyed girl revealed her famous clan exclusive technique that made their eyes terrifying both on a technical perspective and in an aesthetical one.

"…Ho-However, I d-draw a line when it comes to mist-t-treating adorable little girls such as t-this one." She said, veins around her eyes bulging in fury.

"Byakugan!" was the last thing the three boys heard before suffering a pain that they wouldn't ever forget even at the day of their deaths on the Fourth Ninja War, where they would still rank it as less painful to what they got today from the Hyuuga Heiress.

* * *

"Is it weird that I feel proud of my daughter utterly crushing a trio of kids until they're only a gibbering mess?" Was the first thing Hiashi said when they entered a more secretive room in the hospital reserved for special patients that are in need of more privacy.

The Hokage sighed.

"I _guess_ we can say it was just self-defense, giving that they were picking on both Naruko and Hinata. Although, I wouldn't encourage this behavior within the village walls if possible." Hiruzen turned to his ANBU immediately. "I mean, what the hell where you even doing, Dog? You were on Naruko Watch today, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"Then why didn't you stop the fight before she kicked that kid or stopped Hiashi's daughter from incapacitating those boys? The doctors are pretty sure that they can't produce kids in the future thanks to that beating."

Hiashi seemed to beam with pride, but that was hard to say with his almost unchanging expression of "don't touch me, bitch, I'm royalty!"

"No, seriously, Dog. What the hell?" Repeated the Hokage.

Dog shrugged. "Well, would you believe if I said that it was both so Naruko could get some battle experience AND because I find children fighting highly amusing and freaking hilarious? I go to the Chuunin Exams exclusively for that reason, y'know."

"Goddammit, Dog! It's Naruko we're talking about!"

"I know, right? She didn't have a chance, but yet, she did a beautiful kick to the face of the leader of those boys, wish I had a camera just to show it to Guy, he would probably approve of such an entrance." Dog scratched one of his ears. "He would get so excited that he would try to get Naruko to train with him, for sure."

"I'm not ever letting an easily impressionable child near Guy!" exclaimed the Hokage. He actually forgot that he said that when later he tried to drown his growing headache with a lot of high quality sake that night. That's why he actually let Guy eventually get his own team with a _very impressionable_ child a few years later on the road.

"To be honest, I'm more impressed by my daughter." Interrupted Hiashi. "Nothing wrong with the Uzumaki kid, of course, but… you know… she's not my child."

"Well, she _did_ a real number on them when they tried to attack Naruko." Admitted Dog. "Which is kinda weird, I always took her for a gentle but shy girl."

"Ah, the gentleness of my daughter is both her greatest strength and greatest weakness." Said her Father. "You see, she is incredibly polite and gentle, she refuses to fight unless it's absolutely necessary. Usually that motivation is her little sister, but it seems that the little Uzumaki girl is adorable enough to make her maternal instincts kick in." Conclude him with a thoughtful nod to himself, which, as always, was almost imperceptible.

The Hokage looked worried at the Hyuuga Clan's Head. "I… hope that does not mean that she is as… _overprotective_ … as your late wife." The Old Man narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, I have a great suspicion that she is exactly like her mother." Said Hiashi with a hint of pride.

"Oh…" exclaimed Sarutobi with a pause. "…Well, then… I guess Naruko made a BFF, huh…"

The other two men looked weirdly at the _very_ old man.

"What?" exclaimed Sarutobi. "You can't spend your day with an adorable chatterbox like Naruko and _not_ get infected by her lingo." He turned to the Hyuuga Patriarch. "Just give her time, she'll make your daughter say stuff like that too, just pray that she doesn't repeat what Naruko's _verbally creative_ imaginary friend says."

"Imaginary friend…?" asked Hiashi.

"Yes, Naruko calls it 'Kura-chan' and it has the tendency to say some very vile things, I don't even have any idea of how she even heard about some of the things that it says and she repeats to the world to listen!" he said exasperated. "I swear to Kami, Buda and Amaterasu that I'll crush the head of the people who taught her that, with a rusty nutcracker."

"I agree with the feeling," said Dog. "An imaginary friend can't possibly be the source of it."

* * *

Naruko was suddenly distracted of her conversation with the nice Hyuuga girl by a sound that she never have heard Kura-chan make before.

' _…Uh, gesundheit?_ ' she thought tentatively.

 **'The weirdest thing is that I never sneezed before in all these years I've been imprisoned.'** Said the Fox with a confused tone.

"What happened, Naru-chan?" asked the Hyuuga girl with a worried expression. "You suddenly stopped talking about your favorite ramen flavors and made this funny face."

"Whaa- my face's not funny, Hina-chan!" exclaimed the little blond puffing her adorable cheeks and making an incredibly cute funny expression. "Kura-chan just sneez'd and he nev'r made that befor'!"

"Oh." Said Hinata. She then added with a curious expression. "Who is Kura-chan?"

"My imaginary friend!" she said happily. "He's always with me an' is always defending me from the pain!"

"He seems nice." Hinata said with a smile. Wait, _pain?_

"Yeah, he is a Grumpy McGrumple Pants, but he is actually very nice!" Naruko said. She faintly heard a growl on the back of her mind that indicated how much Kura-chan appreciated the nickname. "Yup, reaaaaaally nice and funny!" she beamed.

Hinata gave a small laugh at the adorable face the other girl made.

"I see you're getting along very well." Suddenly said an approaching voice. Hinata got up immediately to see her father approaching them on the hospital waiting room they had left her with Naruko. "Come now, Hinata. We're going to discuss the consequences of your actions at home."

"Hai, Father." The Hyuuga Princess said, deflating a little to leave so soon.

Her Father turned to exit the room and she started to follow, until a blond blur bypassed her and tugged around her Father's fancy robes. Hiashi, not used to being suddenly touched by peasants, stiffened for a bit and _did not_ make a funny breathing sound, no matter how much Naruko would insist he did later in the future.

"Hina-chan's in trouble, Mister Hyuuga?" she asked adorably when he turned to her. Those pleading puppy blue eyes, the adorable pouting lips, the big goopy tears, the small voice that only a very adorable little girl such as his own could have…

' _God, this girl is a terror._ ' Concluded Hiashi. ' _An adorable terror that will bring doom to everybody around her with a cheerful smile.'_

"Indeed, Uzumaki-san." Hiashi started to feel desperation as he watched the girl's little face starting to drop a bunch of crazy big and shiny tears. Oh, God, he had to fix that right now! "However, she will get just a veeeeeery light punishment giving that she was trying to protect someone like you. Maybe nothing at all, even."

"Y-you promise?" asked her with a voice that washed Hiashi with a weird mixed feeling of relief and despair.

"Yes, I promise." Yep, his first assortment was correct. This girl is a terror, nobody is safe from that impossibly cute smile.

Hinata watched the little blond girlie just get away with bribing her Father out of her punishment with just some goopy tears and a cute plea, something that not even her little sister, Hanabi, ever managed to do.

That's it, there's no way she is ever leaving that little girl out of her life now. Someone that cute and dangerous just must be hers forever and ever.

Hiashi felt a chill go down his spine. He turned to his eldest daughter giving a _very gentle smile_ to them, especially to the little laughing girl that now disengaged from him and now was holding the Hyuuga Heiress' hands.

To anyone else, that gentle smile of his daughter was just a signal of happiness.

To the trained eyes of the Hyuuga Clan Head, that was the equivalent of a psychotic serial killer smile.

The kind that purposefully slash their cheeks so their smiles are inhumanly big.

Hiashi decided then and there that God has forsaken him, the Hyuuga Clan, the entire village of Konoha and possibly the rest of the Elemental Nations.


End file.
